Before & After Love
by spartankukla
Summary: Paul and Tegan were together before "the Change" but broke up when Paul betrayed her. What happens when he comes back, only to imprint on the girl whose heart he broke? Paul/OC. M for language & adult content.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! This is my first Twilight fic & I just love Paul so I thought I'd give this whirl. Hope you enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: You know it, I don't own it.**

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"_There'll never be another," he whispered the promise before leaning down, his lips approaching mine slowly…_

My eyes snapped open, startled from sleep by the memory and I realized I was sitting up with one hand clutched to my pounding heart as I tried to slow its frantic pace.

"Not again," I murmured, flopping back onto my pillow as I ran a hand through my tangled hair. Glancing at the clock I saw the iridescent glow of numbers that were far too low for me to be awake yet. My room was still cloaked in darkness yet I lay still with my eyes wide open unwilling to shut them for fear of what I'd see.

The minutes ticked by as I lay there wide awake while trying to fight the force of the memories that until recently had been some of my happiest.

Three weeks.

It had been three weeks since I'd found him with her.

Two weeks since I'd seen him at all. Only a slight blessing in disguise though all I wanted was to show him how much better off I was without him or to possibly try to hurt him as badly as he'd hurt me.

Finally I sighed, snapping my bedside lamp on as I resigned myself to another sleepless night. I reached down to pick up my worn copy of _The Bridge of San Luis Rey_ from the floor and opened to a random page, sighing again as I began to read.

"Now he discovered that secret from which one never quite recovers, that even in the most perfect love one person loves less profoundly that the other. There may be two equally good, equally gifted, equally beautiful, but there may never be two that love one another equally well."

I snapped the book shut as a stray tear rolled down my cheek, unwilling to continue as my thoughts again twisted back to him. Rolling onto my side, I curled my legs up into my body and shut my eyes tight trying to stop the tears that I knew were coming.

"_Fuck Paul_," I whispered into the silence of my room as my pillow became soaked, willing myself to sleep and finally, an hour later when my tears had dried, I did.

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The toot of a car horn nearly caused me to scratch my cornea with the dark liner I'd been rimming around my eyes. I glanced down at my watch to see that Kim was early and I rolled my eyes before putting the finishing touches on my face.

Finally, nearly an hour and a half after I'd woken from a restless sleep, I was ready to face the day. I carefully examined myself, satisfied that I'd been able to conceal the massive bags that had taken up permanent residence under my eyes over the past few weeks.

I stared at my reflection that used to please me so much: my emerald green eyes with flecks of gold stared back before moving down the bridge of my nose that was marred slightly by the tiniest bump but that I thought added character. I flipped my long dark hair over my shoulder allowing the waves to flow down my back as I expertly tucked my long bangs behind my ear so that they only fell across half my face. I glanced at the flawless Quileute skin that I'd inherited from my mother but only in a much lighter shade with a smattering of freckles across the bridge of my nose, the result of an Irish father. I attempted a wide, pearly white smile at my reflection that ended up as a grimace.

"Damn," I muttered – so close to looking happy and normal. _Oh well_, I thought as I shrugged my shoulders. I looked good enough that should he be back at school – _finally_ – I'd be able to act as though our breakup had no affect on me. Hurrying from the bathroom into my room I took one final glance in the floor length mirror, satisfied with the faded jeans and plain white v-neck t-shirt before I grabbed my jacket and bag.

Running down the stairs and out the door I saw Kim strumming the steering wheel anxiously, watching her roll her eyes as she caught sight of me. I threw myself into the car, speaking hurriedly before she got the chance, "Sorry, sorry, sorry," I said while turning my eyes up at her and pouting softly, "I just needed to make sure I looked alright – just in case."

Kim visibly softened at my words, "S'ok Tegan," she mumbled back at me before unexpectedly pulling me into a hug. Surprised to say the least since I wasn't exactly a touchy-feeling type girl, I squeezed her back, silently wondering what brought this display of affection on.

When she finally pulled away I looked at her with a slight smile, "What was that for?"

"You've had a rough few weeks and…" Kim trailed off hesitantly.

Arching an eyebrow at her I took a deep breath, "Annnnd?"

"Paul'scomingbacktoday," she rambled off quickly before throwing the car in reverse and peeling out of my driveway.

I felt my heart fall to the pit of my stomach as I stared at her while she tried to keep her face neutral, "Please tell me you didn't say what I think you just said."

Kim blew a puff of air out, giving her chipmunk cheeks as she slowly exhaled, "Jared told me that Paul is probably comin' back to school today…Figured you'd want to know so you weren't surprised."

I sighed softly, knowing that forewarned was forearmed, "Thanks Kimmy, guess it was gonna happen sooner or later – as much as I hoped he had left La Push for good I know that was just wishful thinking."

Looking out the window we drove in silence for a few minutes as I stared out the window at the green forest as we creeped by. Kim wasn't exactly the fastest driver but I'd lost the privilege of my own car about two months into dating Paul and as she had the unfortunate luck of being my best friend she now doubled as my chauffer. I sighed quietly, my thoughts immediately going back to my memories of the months I spent dating Paul Benally.

I had thought it had been love but little did I know how fickle 17 year old boys tended to be. Paul had spent months hounding me to date him and I'd been so resistant to his playboy ways, knowing his reputation. I could only blame myself for thinking he'd changed, thinking I meant something to him but how wrong I was and the stab to the heart of catching him in bed with none other than my childhood enemy, Katrina had yet to dull over the past few weeks.

"Earth to Tegan!" a voice broke through my thoughts and I glanced up startled, realizing we were now at school. I stared at the building, trying to calm my pounding heart. I shook my head slightly, trying to snap out of it. I'd never been a particularly emotional girl but stupid Paul had somehow changed all that.

Taking a few more deep breaths I prepared to put the 'happy mask' on my face as Kim had taken to calling it. I'd surprised myself by what a good actress I could be during the school hours – managing to portray a carefree teen only to crumple the second I left school property.

"Ready?" Kim asked softly, turning in her seat to face me head on, "You look gorgeous – he'll definitely see what he's missing."

I gave a soft groan, "He didn't notice that week he was around – 'stead he just shook with silent laughter."

"Tigs – you don't know he was laughing…maybe he was…well he could have been," Kim trailed off, combing her brain for excuses.

My face was the definition of skeptical as she tried to sputter out an answer. Finally a rolled my eyes slightly, feeling a small smile pull at my mouth, "Let's get this over with."

Kim and I both climbed out of the car, slamming the doors simultaneously. I threw my bag over my shoulder as I steeled myself for the day ahead. Walking quickly towards the school, I cringed when I saw Jared standing waiting impatiently for Kim. As they locked eyes and moved into their own little world I knew I was on my own. Seeing the two of them together would only serve to contrast with my own pathetic singledom so I gave an awkward wave and hurried in the other direction.

I was happy for Kim – really I was – but she and Jared started dating around the same time I finally gave into Paul. Seeing the two of them together reminded me of being part of a couple, something I was no longer.

Walking quickly into school I tried to avoid eye contact with anyone and everyone when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. I twirled around to find Jacob Black grinning down at me. He pulled me into a hug, nearly squeezing the life out of me, "Hi little Tigs, how's my favorite cousin?"

I rolled my eyes as I pulled away from him, "_Only_ cousin," I reminded him playfully. Jake wrapped an arm around my shoulders as we both made our way into school, joined moments later by Embry and Quil. As the four of us made our way down the small halls towards our lockers I managed to pretend it was simply a normal day at school as I listened to their playful banter.

That was until I heard _his_ voice.

"Outta my way," it echoed down the hall and I tensed at the familiar, dulcet tone. Jacob's arm tightened around me and I maneuvered out from under his hold moving quickly towards my locker.

"Its fine," I mumbled to him and waved him away when he made the movement to stay. Fumbling with the lock, I tried to calm my nerves as I realized I'd taken his absence for granted. I managed to plaster a smile on my face at the exact second the locker a few doors down from mine slammed shut.

I jumped slightly before glancing up and managing to lock eyes with the last person in the world I ever wanted to see again.

Paul Benally.

Green met dark brown, nearly black today, and I don't know what I expected to find but I certainly wasn't prepared for what I did see.

Numbness. Anger. Shock. Stress. Then…adoration. Affection. Lust. And worst of all, the final emotion: love.

The look on his face was one I'd only glimpsed once before, in a more watered down version: the night he'd promised I was the only one for him, the night we...

It was all too much. I blinked in quick succession, trying to get rid of the memories that were all too fresh, "What the hell are you looking at Benally?" I grumbled, turning back towards my locker, feeling his eyes bore into my face.

"Tigger…" Paul said softly, using the nickname he'd given me years ago when he was just the annoying boy that I loved to hate. Hearing it now, caused a shiver to run down my spine and I fought against the urge to throw my arms around him.

Slamming my locker shut, I managed to glare up at him fiercely, "Don't you _dare_ call me that." Whirling away I stomped away from him down the hallway towards first period, barely registering the pained groan that fell from Paul's lips and the thud that was his fist slamming into the locker.

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**Thoughts? I love love LOVE reviews!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok - so I am so overwhelmed with the feedback I've already received & just way overjoyed by the reviews, alerts & favorites! So a quick thanks to the following reviewers:**

**XxXLIFEafterDEATHXxX, Sweetest Silence, Aoi Nami-chan, gotsaboothang, Norwegian, .x, ren-hatake, and x XRoweenaJAugustineX x. I was so grateful you took the time to let me know that you're enjoying it & I live to please. **

**Here is the next installment, sorry its not very long but I tend to get much wordier the more into a plot I get so please be patience & stick with me!**

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"Fuck. My. Life." I mumbled as my head dropped to the lunch table. A hand took mine and squeezed it gently, the only suspect being Kim, I squeezed it back.

"You'll be fine Tigs, not only that – Paul left about as quick as he came back so you're free for the rest of the day." Kim said, voice muffled slightly as I had my arms around my head trying to block out the world.

I rolled my eyes, the effect lost Kim as my head was still buried under my arms, "But he's _supposed_ to see how happy I am without him. He's _supposed_ to miss me because I look gorgeous. He can't do those things if he isn't at school for longer than twenty minutes!" I cried, slamming my fist on the table as I finally looked up to see not only Kim but that Jacob, Quil and Embry had joined us and were currently all eyeing me curiously, "What the _hell_ are you three looking at?" I asked angrily.

"Christ Tigs, no wonder you were with Paul – the two of you have tempers to match," Jacob chuckled under his breath to Quil and Embry but cut off as soon as he caught sight of my blazing green eyes that were locked on his face. He held up his hands in defeat, "Sorry, sorry Tegan…geez you're so touchy."

"Jacob – shut your mouth. If you can't be nice to your cousin you may as well just piss off," Kim said angrily in a very uncharacteristic outburst.

"Ugh, Jared's certainly wearing off on you – and not in a good way. Let's get outta here boys," Jacob stood up quickly, followed immediately by his two lapdogs Quil and Embry and the three of them stalked away, leaving us alone.

"Make everyone go back to normal," I whined at Kim who tried to look understanding but was distracted by something and was now focused on something – or more accurately someone – directly over my left shoulder. Recognizing the look, I groaned slightly, "Fantastic. Jared's here isn't he?"

Kim managed to nod through her dazed, love struck blindness and I breathed out slowly, closing my eyes while trying to reign in my temper when I heard Jared sit down at the table. I opened my eyes at the wrong moment just in time to see Jared place a tender kiss on Kim's temple. I tried to fight the eye-roll that threatened and managed quite nicely. Feeling a little too proud of myself for such a small feat I tried to focus on my lunch rather than the happy couple, picking at the peanut butter and fluff sandwich that I currently had no appetite for.

"You seen Paul yet?" Jared asked through a mouth full of food, completely oblivious to his faux pas even when Kim dug an elbow into his side, "Wha?" he questioned his girlfriend, a bit of turkey hanging from the side of his mouth.

I looked at him, sighing slightly and waving a forgiving hand, "Forget it Kim. And yes," I turned to address Jared, "I have seen him. Kid took one look at me, stared like he was a lost puppy then bolted. I don't know what his deal is, I'm not the one that messed us up."

At my words, Jared sat upright in his seat and for some reason stared back at me intensely, focusing on something other than Kim for the first time ever, "So let me get this straight. He looked at you, stared then…?" he trailed off, clearly waiting for me to continue.

Geez, what was his deal? Not like it was a huge encounter, barely a blip of a fight in mine and Paul's history. We were notorious for our loud, chaotic outbursts that had gone on for years. Even after we got together we still fought, just the end result tended to be a bit more pleasant. "He called me Tigger, I told him never to call me that again and I took off. He may have broken his locker though, heard him hit it pretty hard."

"Oh. _Fuck_." Jared growled – growled? – before launching himself out of his seat and bolting out of the cafeteria.

My face was most likely the definition of confusion, "What the hell was that about?" I asked Kim who looked just as confused as I was. She shook her head, looking slightly dazed at the encounter before shaking it harder and pulling herself together, seemingly comprehending what had just happened.

"No idea. This has gotten all too weird. Maybe Paul just doesn't feel well…" she trailed off lamely and I narrowed my eyes at her suspiciously. _Huh, seemed like she knew there for a second. What the hell is going on around this place?_ Suddenly, an idea hit me and I smiled a little too widely at Kim who looked nervous at the look on my face.

"Didn't Jared disappear for a little while a couple months ago?" Kim nodded her head slowly but didn't speak, "Then came back all hot and bothered – mostly for you, but still changed nonetheless?" Again: nod, no answer. "And now Paul disappears for two weeks, comes back even bigger than he was before," a detail I'd left out before but I was pretending I didn't notice that he'd grown even taller and was even better looking than he was before, "And I mention a slight fit he had and Jared takes off like I'd said Paul burst into flames. Doncha think that's all a bit too coincidental?"

Kim was silent for a beat or two before drawing herself up and straightening her back to stare at me, "I think you're being a little too conspiracy theory Tigs, Jared's just worried about his friend is all. He told me Paul was a mess after you two…well ya know."

I glared back at Kim, silently screaming at her in my head while attempting to control my mouth. Didn't work. "Oh _he_ was a mess?," I hissed scathingly, "You have got to be kidding me. I wasn't the one who cheated. I wasn't the one that broke us. So what gives him the right to be a 'mess'?"

I quickly jumped up from out of my seat and Kim moved to grab my arm to soothe me but I shook her off rougher than intended, "Just leave it Kim. I can't -," I tried to get the words out but embarrassingly I heard my voice choke and realized with shame my eyes seemed to be filling with tears, "I can't take this right now. I've gotta get out of here."

"What about classes?" Kim asked quietly, "Just stay Tigs, I'm sorry…" she pleaded slightly and I could tell how upset with herself she was.

I bit my lip to stop the threatening tears, "Make something up – tell them I got sick, tell them I had a family emergency. Christ – tell them I turned into a fuckin' wolf for all I care, just make something up because I can't deal with this place today, I can't deal with any of it anymore." Kim seemed taken aback by my outburst and lost for words so I just turned and stomped away from her, trying to escape the nightmare that this day had turned into.

I barreled through the throng of people and burst out of the small cafeteria into the frigid November air. _Shit_ – why didn't I think to bring my jacket with me? Whatever, no time to go back now or I'd definitely be caught ditching so I just gripped my arms around myself and hurried towards the tree-lined road that would lead me home.

I felt flushed from my slight outburst at Kim but the heat from my little temper tantrum was fading quickly in the cool near-winter air and I was beginning to regret this rash decision. Unfortunately, regret was something I was beginning to be all too familiar with – regret for the way things turned out with Paul, regret for ever having started with him, loving – er, I mean regret for having ever _loved_ him. It seemed that there was no way to turn back time so now all I could do was try to concentrate on biding my time, finish up senior year and get the hell out of La Push and as far away from Paul Benally as possible.

Oh perfect – rain. Of course. A soft rain had just started to fall but I knew that wouldn't last long and as though on cue it started to pour. My thin white t-shirt gave little to no protection and I was still at least two miles away from my house. I could feel my teeth chattering and as I stomped along the road I felt the water that had invaded my sneakers squish beneath my toes. I am the world's worst decision maker in the history of all…well decision makers and that's for damn sure.

Suddenly the sound of a truck driving down the road caused me to tense up. I tried to move as far to the side of the road as possible to avoid any mud spraying me when I remembered I should probably be more concerned that the truck would stop and I would get caught ditching school before I made it to the relative safety of my home. Belatedly, I realized that I definitely should have gone through the woods instead.

I cringed when I heard the tires squelching through the mud come to a crawl until the truck was right next to me and at a standstill. I chanced a sidelong look and stared back into the face of none other than Sam Uley who was reaching across the cab of his truck to roll the window down. I tried to shut my mouth that had dropped open in shock. I'd never spoken more than two words with Sam even though I'd known him my entire life. The man oozed authority and I tended to butt heads with any type of leader. Just in my nature, I suppose.

"Ms. Quinn, you shouldn't be out in weather like this," he stated and I was about to respond with a sarcastic quip when he did something that shocked me. He flung the passenger door of his truck open and nodded his head at me, "Hop in – I'll take you home."

My mouth once again dropped open in shock and I was dazed as I blindly agreed to him and climbed into the truck. The warmth of the small cab was heavenly and without thinking, I threw a grateful smile in Sam's direction as I held my hands over the heater vents. After a few minutes of basking in the warmth I suddenly became aware that we had yet to move and I could feel Sam's eyes on my face.

Startled, I turned to face him and seeing him staring at me intently I flushed slightly, "I'd ask what you're doing out of school right now but I'd bet the reason would start with a P and end with an aul," he stated surely with a smirk.

_Whoa, kid's got a sense of humor_, I thought as I was startled into silence. That was until his words sunk in, "How the fuck do you know about me and Paul?" I questioned roughly, cringing internally at my choice of language. The real surprise though was Sam didn't looked shocked at all, rather he actually looked thoroughly amused by my question.

"I think it's safe to say everyone on the Rez knows that the two of you are bound and determined to make each other's lives either a living hell or heaven on earth," Sam said as he finally put the truck in drive.

"Huh," I said audibly, unable to form coherent words. I leaned back against the seat, pulling my dark hair off my body as it was currently plastered to my back and I resisted the urge to ring it out and soak Sam's seat. "Stupid small town, having to know everyone's business – the nerve of all those gossiping ninnys," I grumbled under my breath, frustrated that everyone in La Push knew about my boy problems.

"You two weren't exactly silent about your ongoing feud," he said with a chuckle as he eased his way down the streets towards my house, "Lord, I remember when you were about thirteen and you knocked him out with your pogo stick cause he'd called you Tigger the Tiger. How many stitches did he have to get for that little bout?"

"Seven," I said with a disdainful sniff that only earned another chuckle from Sam.

"You two kids – it'll work out for you, I'm sure." And he did sound sure – very sure that the two of us would end up happy as pie just like he and Emily.

The bastard.

"Excuse me?" I questioned harshly, "You may remember the stories from when we were kids but you certainly aren't aware of our recent history or you'd know I want nothing to do with that boy ever again. If I never see him again it'll be too soon."

Sam arched an eyebrow at me and seemed unperturbed by my outburst. He actually looked skeptical about my declaration, "You can try but my bet is you'll fail. He's always had a thing for you. And it seems to be reciprocated. You'll end up together…and my bet is sooner rather than later," he said with such conviction that I felt my heart ache at the thought of being with Paul again.

This little, bizarre conversation was way too much for me in my already rather fragile state and I could suddenly feel tears threatening. I bit my lip hard, trying to remind myself that I'd sworn I wouldn't cry about Paul in public, "My house is on the right." I stated instead, thankful to see my house through the downpour.

Sam pulled into the driveway and I tried to launch myself out of the car as quickly as possible when a felt a burning hot hand on my arm stop me, "Try to go easy on him, he's difficult enough as is." He said softly and firmly, making it sound almost like an order.

I tried my best to give a scathing glare and I wrenched my arm out of his, "I'll keep that in mind," I said coldly before I finally managed to escape the clutches of Sam Uley.

Vaulting myself out of the cab of the truck, I slammed the door shut with as much force as I could muster before I sprinted towards my house, barely through the front door when the tears began to pour down my face.

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**Soo...thoughts? I kinda went a different way with my Sam character by making him a bit lighter that he's usually portrayed so lemme know if you think that's way off, if you hated the chapter or if you enjoyed it.**

**Also - next chapter will be the first real encounter of Tegan & Paul and reviews make me write so much faster...just a slight bribe I'm throwing out there :)**


	3. Chapter 3

__**Longest chapter yet, go me! Thanks so so much for the reviews, alerts & faves - it just means the world to me.**

**Quick thanks to: Sweetest Silence, .Lee., Norwegian, Little Miss Bover, Superdani a. & XxXLIFEafterDEATHXxX **

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I lay curled up on my bed with the sheets crumpled at the bottom of the bed, swimming in an old sweatshirt of Paul's that still smelled exactly like him – a heady mix of the forest, leather and a hint of the ocean. I sniffled slightly from the tears that had finally dried after an hour of crying but I still couldn't understand how all of a sudden I felt ten times worse that I had just yesterday. I thought I'd been moving on; at least that's what I'd managed to convince myself.

But today – after seeing him for just a few seconds – he was all I could see when I shut my eyes, he was the only thing on my brain and all the hatred and anger were beginning to fade to an ache so deep in my heart I thought I could see a bruise on my chest developing as physical proof of the pain I was in. I wasn't mad. I was hurt to the point I thought I'd die without him.

_What in the hell was wrong with me?_

Suddenly I heard my mum's old pickup truck pull into the driveway and steps up the driveway towards the house. As my eyes flitted to the clock I realized I should still be at school and was about to be grounded if I didn't make myself scarce.

"Shit!" I whispered as I threw myself out of the bed, hastily pulled on a pair of yoga pants, thrust my feet into an old pair of Uggs before launching myself out of my bedroom window without thinking. My room was on the second floor, overlooking the backyard with a small porch on the back of our house including a sturdy roof that came in handy for sneaking out.

I tiptoed across the roof before grabbing hold of a thick branch from the large oak tree that shaded most of our yard during the summer. I gracefully swung down only pausing slightly when I hit the ground to realize the last time I'd done this I was sneaking out to meet Paul. Shaking the thought from my head I made a beeline towards the woods behind the house that would lead towards Jacob's house. It was the only place I could think to hide out at right now. First Beach wasn't an option as there was still a steady drizzle that was quickly soaking me as I hurried through the silent forest following the well worn path between mine and Jacob's homes.

I leapt lightly over a tree root, feeling slightly better in the fresh air and having something else besides Paul to concentrate on even though it was to escape from getting caught ditching school because of Paul. My day was like a circle: all events either began or ended with Paul Benally.

"You're losing it Tegan," I mumbled to myself, tripping over a root I didn't notice. I stumbled slightly but managed to catch myself before I hit the ground. A noise like an injured puppy came from deep in the woods and my head snapped towards the darkened forest, trying to see if there was anything there. I squinted hard but unable to see farther than a few feet I shook my head, chalking it up to hearing things as I hurried the last few feet of wooded path and emerged into a clearing. Catching sight of the small wooden house with narrow windows I breathed a sigh of relief.

I couldn't exactly go in and hang out with Billy as the first thing he'd do would be to call his sister (my mum) so I quietly moved my way around to the back of the house where the hastily constructed garage lay. I eased the door open before walking in, relieved to be out of the weather and happy to have escaped the confines of my house. I glanced at my watch to see I had about an hour to kill before I could go home so I climbed into the back of Jacob's half-built Rabbit and nestled into the backseat where luck would have it an old blanket lay on the floor of the car.

Wrapping the blanket around my slightly shivering body I felt the exhaustion hit me after the day's events so I lay down across the seat, curled my legs up into my body and promptly fell asleep.

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"Tegan," a husky voice whispered in my subconscious, making me lick my lips and smile slightly.

"Mmm, whachu say Paul?" I murmured back to dream Paul who had just finished his punishment of seven thousand pushups and was now happily showering my face with kisses.

"Oh ew – wake up Tegan!" the voice said louder and a hand shook my shoulder roughly. Disoriented, my eyes snapped open to be met with the sight of a disgruntled Embry his dark, chin-length hair covering half his face.

"Embry!" I shouted as I clutched my blanket, blinking my eyes hurriedly in confusion, "What the hell do you think you're doing in my room?"

His disgruntled look turned to one of bewilderment, "_Your_ room? Sweetheart – you're curled up in a half-built shitbox in the middle of the Black's garage. I have more right to be here than you do."

Startled, having never heard Embry swear before I let out an unladylike snort that Embry cocked an eyebrow at. I nearly giggled at the sight until the memories of the day flooded back, putting me in a decidedly less-giggly mood. I was suddenly struck by how much Embry had grown and how much he was starting to look like…_no_! I commanded myself, no more thoughts about _him_.

Finding my voice I managed to answer Embry who was currently crammed into the small backseat of the Rabbit with me, "You forget that I am related to Jacob whereas _you_ are not."

Now it was Embry's turn to snort as he scrutinized me carefully, brushing my long bangs out of my eyes and tucking them behind my ear, "No one could forget that the way he loudly tells it to all boys who eye you. He's more protective than I am over my own sister."

"Your sister is four," I pointed out helpfully for him, "I'm sure you'll get creepy overprotective once she hits thirteen and gets boobs."

Embry grimaced, "Not something I want to think about just yet Tigs."

I sighed deeply, content with the new company that was now distracting me from the one person I was trying to violently avoid thinking about. I leaned back in the seat, pulling my legs up and tucking them under my bum as I turned to face Embry who was folded into the small back seat, long lanky legs pressed uncomfortably against the backseat but his face was peaceful as he leaned back with his eyes closed.

"So where's Tweedledum and Tweedledee?" I questioned lightly, wondering where my darling cousin and his butt buddy number two were.

"Detention," Embry answered.

I waited for him to continue but was met with silence so I poked him none too gently in the side, "Hey! What was that for?" he shrieked, nailing his head on the roof of the car as he jumped up.

"Sorry," I responded though I was anything but, "Why're they in detention without you?"

"We don't do everything together Tegan. The two idiots thought it was a good idea to ditch school – trying to check on you actually…however those two morons aren't quite as stealth as you are. Sam Uley caught them half way home and dragged them back to school and straight to the office where they were given detention for the rest of the week," Embry replied as he settled back into a comfortable position, extracting one long arm out that had been stuck between me and his side which resulted in him draping it across the back of the car, nearly touching my shoulder.

My mouth dropped open at his words and I glanced over at him, "They were coming after me?" my mind spun as I tried to understand why Sam aided and abetted my escape but turned in Jacob and Quil.

Embry turned to face me with an 'obviously-you-idiot' look on his face, "Course, they were. We've been worried. You haven't been yourself since – " at the look on my face he cut off quickly, "Well, you've been a bit off for a few weeks now."

I exhaled slowly, my face crumpling at the thought of everyone knowing what a mess I was and I dropped my eyes to my hands, "I thought I was hiding it well," I said softly, my voice sounding pathetic even to my own ears.

Embry took my chin in his hand and softly tilted my face up towards him, "You were, but you forget we know you. Everyone else saw a happy, smiling, flirty Tegan while all we saw was a brave, stubborn, hurting Tigs."

I stared at Embry appraisingly, shocked that he was so perceptive and I said so, "I'm slightly shocked you're so perceptive."

Embry gave a little shrug, "Eh, just when it comes to you I guess," he said as he stared into my eyes and I gazed back at the comforting warmth behind them.

A somewhat awkward silence settled around the two of us as I broke the gaze and turned forward, slightly surprised when Embry pulled me into his side using the arm that had been placed on the seatback. I stiffened slightly at the touch but relaxed when I realized his shape was just as comforting as Jacob's would have been so I leaned into the friendly embrace as we both remained quiet.

The minutes passed quickly once Embry finally broke the silence and began cracking jokes about my past temper tantrums, concentrating mostly on the times I'd turned on him, Jacob and Quil. I'd nearly forgotten how much they'd bore the brunt of my short fuse until I'd moved onto fighting almost exclusively with Paul. Time flew as Embry kept up a near constant stream of chatter, distracting me to the point that I'd nearly forgot all about what's-his-name…well, sort of.

Before I knew it the door of the garage was swinging open with a bang and in strode Jacob and Quil, joking together loudly and clearly not noticing we were even in the garage.

"Boo!" I shouted from the backseat and the look on the two boys faces had me in a fit of giggles as Jacob held a hand over his heart in fright and Quil had jumped into a ninja-like stance at the noise. Embry chuckled deeply as I giggled softly before we both moved to climb out of the Rabbit.

Embry stretched and cracked his back while I bent to touch my toes after having sat cramped up for the past two hours. Once I straightened up I realized both Quil and Jacob were staring at Embry and me with matching incredulous looks. After a beat Quil's face slowly twisted into a smirk as his eyes darted between the two of us.

I arched an eyebrow at him, "What's that look for?"

"Ohhh nothing," Quil said with a sly grin and a nudge into Jacob's side who didn't look quite so pleased to find Embry and me together.

I rolled my eyes at Quil's now obvious juvenile insinuations, "Whatever Tweedledumber," I responded with a glare, "I'll see you fools tomorrow."

I moved to exit the garage when Jacob grabbed my arm. I turned to see him dangling my hooded rain jacket from his pinkie finger, "Figured you'd want this but I see you have a replacement," he said with a smirk as all three boys were suddenly very interested in the fact I was wearing a sweatshirt that came down to my knees and was decidedly male.

"Oh? This old thing? It's one of my brother's – don't even know which ones," I said casually, praying they'd believe it belonged to one of my two older siblings.

Jacob snorted and I snatched my jacket away from him, "Don't give me that, it's true." I said as I turned to leave haughtily.

I was nearly out the door when the sound of someone clearing their throat noisily stopped me and I turned slowly to see Quil smirking, "You never told us your brothers' last name was changed to 'Benally.'"

Shit – forgot I was wearing Paul's old football sweatshirt that had his very unique last name boldly written on the back of it. I felt the heat begin in my toes as it crept its way up my body until my face was flaming red and I tried to control an outburst. I tried to give a withering glare as I straigtened my shoulders and raised my head high to storm out though I'm pretty sure I just looked panicked and hassled as I sprinted from the garage and away from Quil's grin, Jacob's anger and Embry's annoyance.

"Stupid boys," I muttered to myself as I stomped across the small clearing and back into the woods for the walk home, "Pain in my ass, for years now. So what if I have his sweatshirt on? Doesn't mean anything. Nope. Nothing. Not. A. Thing." I told said out loud, firmly and strongly as though I was pleading my case to a jury.

In my haste to hurry home I tripped on the exact same root I tripped on when I was on the way to Jacob's only this time I was a bit more distracted and I felt myself falling in a freefall. I shut my eyes tight preparing to hit the ground when I pair of warm hands caught me and spun me around so that I was cradled in my savior's arms.

"Phew," I blew out a puff of air. My eyes were still glued shut so I opened them carefully to see whatever local I had run into and had so nicely caught me, "Ah! Lemme go!" I shouted when I realized it was the very last person I had ever wanted to see again let alone a mere few hours after our last encounter.

A wave of pain passed over Paul's face as he carefully set me up straight and I eyed him suspiciously. He was standing barefoot and bare-chested in the middle of the woods with only a pair of sweat-shorts on that I recognized as ones I used to take naps in. As startled as I was by the sight of him I couldn't help but be concerned about his state of near undress. I didn't want him getting sick though he did look delicious – _ah bad Tegan_, I mentally scolded myself, _He looks yucky & you hope he gets pneumonia_.

I glanced up from my examination of his body to see Paul watching me intensely and I locked eyes with him, finding myself falling into the coal-black depths. When we'd been together I could read his eyes like a book and now was no different as I watched a mix of emotions roll through him ranging from sadness to love to confusion to lust to frustration. I couldn't stand to keep staring but there was no way I could break away from him either.

Finally I managed to at least rearrange my previously contemplative face into one of menace, "If you'll just excuse me, I've got to get home." I said harshly, trying to sidestep around him but he simply mirrored my movement.

"Tegan," he whispered softly as I again tried to get around him and he again blocked my way, "Will you just wait and let me say something?"

His words managed to shake me from the daze I'd been in, "What on earth could you possibly have to say to me that your actions from Halloween night didn't?" I questioned bitterly and he looked as though I'd slapped him across the face. I again tried to get around him but he reached out and held me in place with two strong hands on my upper arms. I involuntarily shuddered at his touch, the warmth and familiarity making me squirm with feelings I'd tried to squash down.

"_Please_ just listen to me?" he pled, jutting his lower lip out in a decidedly unmanly pout, "Let me explain."

I wiggled out of his grip that was wreaking havoc on my already frayed control that was only just barely keeping me from launching myself into his arms and forcing his lips to mine, "Fine – you have three minutes."

I crossed my arms and tapped my foot for good measure to show him just how impatient I was though inside I was craving some explanation that would make what he'd done bearable and forgivable.

"Fuck," he muttered, glancing down at me from an astoundingly high height that I was again just noticing. I came to the conclusion I was extremely unperceptive since the whole break-up. He'd grown another few inches and towered over my slight five foot five frame. He wore a sheepish look and rubbed a large hand to the back of his neck, "Never thought you'd actually stop bein' a stubborn brat and let me explain so I kinda never really thought up what to say."

I bit back at a grin at his words and managed to keep my glare firmly in place, "Yeah well you'd better think quick, Benally – I'm cold."

"You're always cold," he said with a knowing smirk and his words recounted the dozens of times I'd been wrapped in his large arms as he warmed me up in the only way he knew how.

"Enough reminiscing, get on with it," I muttered.

"Tegan – I am more sorry than you'll ever know. What I did was unforgiveable. I – " his voice caught in his throat before he cleared it roughly, "I was a fool. Being with you was like some dream that I stole from another, luckier, nicer, more deserving guy and just like everyone predicted I fucked it up."

I felt my resolve weaken as the look of utter devastation in his eyes and I fought against the urge to pull him into my arms and comfort him. Tears were slowly building in my eyes and I tried to blink them away as I stared up at him, "Yes. You did. I lov – _loved_ you Paul and you just threw that away on a cheap fuck because we got into one out of a million silly fights."

At the thought of that night – of finding him in bed with a girl I'd hated my whole life I lost the small grip I'd held on my emotions and a tear leaked out, streaking slowly down my face. Paul stared at me, face twisted with emotion before he reached out to softly wipe the tear away. Unwillingly I leaned into his palm, allowing him to cup my face as the other hand came up to rub my neck softly. I could feel his warm breath on my face as he gasped sharply in and out as though seeing me cry was a knife to his chest.

"I love you Tigger," Paul whispered to me, as he leaned in even closer to my face and I felt my breath catch in my throat, "I miss you. I miss your outrageous temper and I hate this ridiculous calm, happy Tegan that's taken over with that silly fake smile you wear at school. I miss having you by my side and being able to kiss you whenever I want. I miss your laugh and that twinkle in your eye you'd have when you were up to something – and you always were. I miss falling asleep on the couch with your head on my chest and the sleepy little smile you'd give me as you woke up. I just – I just miss _us,_" he whispered fiercely.

I stared back at him, barely breathing after his speech and I felt my anger at him slowly melting away being replaced with a desire so painful to be with him I thought I'd die if his arms weren't around me. Staring into his eyes it was as though I was hypnotized. I couldn't break away from his gaze but I couldn't let myself fully fall either.

"_No_!" I cried out bitterly, "I can't do this again. I can't give you everything that I have so that I can watch you piss it all away.

"You had me. And you lost me. _Forever_." I whispered the last word and shoved by him, biting back a sob as I walked away trying to ignore the strange pull I was currently fighting against as I strode away from the man I still loved. And would love. Forever.

* * *

**First encounters of the Paul&Tegan kind! Lemme know what you thought of it :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Eek! So sorry I've been absent for so long but I've been a busy busy bee (not to mention had the writer's block of all writer's block.) I pretty much wrote this all in a couple hours so if it doesn't seem quite good I'm sorry & just thrilled to be writing again!**

**Hope you all like it & are still willing to read my silly story :) ...Enjoy!**

* * *

"Tegan! Get down here now, its dinnertime," I heard my mum shout for the third time in as many minutes.

Slowly dragging myself off the bed I stared into the mirror on the back of my closet door, slightly startled by my appearance. Gone were the vibrant green orbs replaced with dull moss colored eyes of pain rimmed with deep bags. No longer was my dark hair shiny and healthy but instead it hung limply down my back contrasting unattractively with my skin that was now a pale pallor in comparison to the previous healthy glow. I was a zombie. An empty shell of a human and I knew exactly who to blame.

It had been three weeks since my encounter with Paul in the woods. Three weeks since I'd allowed myself to even look at him let alone touch him. And every day I died a little inside.

Ok. So you probably think I'm being way teenagey, overdramatic, angsty girl but if that's what you think you couldn't be farther from the truth. It was bizarre to say the least, I mean I would have sworn I had been moving on in the weeks that he'd been absent from school but his return hit my like a wrecking ball. Added on top of that our confrontation in the woods I was a mess and could barely hide my emotions. I was given a wide berth at school by everyone the only exceptions being Kim, Jacob and Embry…even Quil who I'd never been particularly close to was now treating me like I was a leper.

Slowly I stumbled out of my room and tripped down the stairs, moving in a daze towards the dining room. Imagine my shock (and subsequent chagrin) when I saw not only my mum seated at the table but also Kim, Jared, Jacob, Embry and Uncle Billy. I eyed the collected group suspiciously and felt my mouth pull into a grim line.

"What's going on here?" I questioned in a low, scratchy voice. All eyes were turned to me, each person examining me carefully as though I was going to break down at any moment.

My mother cleared her throat and looked a little unsure of how to proceed before finally saying, "Well…we thought it was time we had a chat with you."

My stare hardened as I realized this was apparently going to be some sort of intervention and I subconsciously backed slowly away from the table, "What kind of 'chat'?" I asked bitterly, using air quotes.

"Tigs, we're all worried about you…we aren't trying to attack you or anything but we just want to know what's going on with you," Kim said, her voice holding a pleading tone, knowing how easily my temper could be set off, "You won't talk to us…" she trailed off, a film of tears coating her dark eyes.

I bit my lip to keep the tears that were threatening at bay, "Nothing is going on," I replied as calmly as I could, chewing hard on my cheek.

"Bullshit," Jared said roughly, earning a glare from my mother and an elbow into his rib from Kim.

"Excuse me?" I asked as haughtily as I could manage in my current, pathetic state, arching an eyebrow and fixing him with an evil glare.

"You heard me – something is absolutely going on and you know exactly what it is. Why do you have to be such a bitch? Can't you just talk to him?" he questioned gruffly and his words were the physical equivalent of a slap to the face.

My mouth fell open in shock along with the rest of the table – except for Uncle Billy whose head dropped to his hands with a groan, "_Jared_, I told you _he_ wasn't to be brought up," Kim hissed angrily while both Jacob and Embry looked fit to kill the larger boy.

Stupidly, Jared continued, "You're being a selfish brat. You won't even look at him to realize he's doing even worse than you are."

As his words sunk in, the despair I'd felt melted away into a familiar emotion: anger, "Fuck. You." I spat at him (much to the horror of my mother,) "How dare you come into my house and talk to me about him? You know what he did to me and you try to put this on me? So again" Fuck. You." I finished, breathing deeply in anger.

"Tegan! Enough!" My mum said weakly, trying to contain a situation she never really had control of while Uncle Billy rolled over to where Jared was seated as he tried to put a placating hand on his trembling shoulder.

"Oh puh-lese Tegan, he wasn't the only one that broke your relationship," Jared said, staring at me accusingly, knowingly. That was the last straw, I felt the tears begin to stream down my face as I backed away slowly from my friends and family before turning and sprinting out into the early winter dusk.

* * *

"_I just don't like you talking to him Tigs, he eyes you like he wants to fuck you in front of the entire party," Paul tried to plead with me, gripping my arm tighter than necessary. Unable to deal with his jealousy tonight I wrenched my arm free of his grasp and took a large gulp of spiked punch as I eyed him through my false eyelashes, fidgeting in my Tigger costume as I glared up at my caveman costumed boyfriend, _how fitting_, I thought. _

"_Ugh, will you relax for once? It's Halloween, I reeeeally don't want to fight with you, especially after the amount we've already had to drink. Besides, he's a friend and you know it. A friend that I've been neglecting since we started dating," I spat back at him before turning to storm away, smirking slightly when he pulled on my tiger tail. Our fights were always the same: him pleading, me egging him on, him screaming, me storming away, eventually him begging for forgiveness and subsequent hot and heavy makeup. _

_He twirled me around, trapping me to him as he gripped my hips, "You're making me look like an idiot," he hissed at me, "Twirling your hair around your little finger, flirting away with your old neighbor while he takes not so discreet peaks down you shirt." _

_I huffed indignantly as I wiggled out of his arms, he was making me sound like some cheap slut, "Screw you Paul, you're overreacting – _as usual_ – and you're ruining my night. Just get away," I shouted at him as I turned to storm away. The boy would drive me insane in no time. Though I'd probably do the same to him I thought as I heard his fist collide with the wall. _

_Making my way through the throng of people, I pushed my way back towards Ethan who was currently leaning against the wall, eyeing my eagerly. I blew a puff of air out, knowing I was being an idiot to Paul, unnecessarily pissing him off but it wasn't my fault: he'd been toeing the line of adorable-overprotective-boyfriend edging over to psychotic-possessive-idiot. He needed a slight lesson in controlling himself. _

_I finally managed to make it through the crowd to join my old next-door neighbor who I'd barely spoken with over the past few months. Ethan gave me a grin through his dark hair and I tried my best to smile brightly, he was simply a means to an end. Joining him on the wall I tried not to cringe as he placed a hand on my bare shoulder drawing me to his chest and I could swear I felt eyes burning angrily into my back, "You look just lovely tonight Tigger," he murmured into my ear. _

_Glancing up at him in annoyance, I couldn't stop myself from saying harshly, "Don't call me that." _

"_Why?" he asked, slightly startled by my less than charming tone, "I thought that was your nickname."_

_I tried not to roll my eyes as I clarified, "It is – but its _Paul's_ nickname for me, he's the only one that calls me that." I said softly, now eyeing the party and becoming slightly panicked when I couldn't spot him which could only mean that Paul was apparently no longer concerned about my whereabouts. _

"_I see," Ethan continued, beginning to draw soft circles on my arm that had me pulling out of his grasp, "Well its funny – I saw him chatting up Katrina a few minutes after you stormed away from him. He didn't seem too concerned about what your name was," he finished with a vicious edge to his voice. _

_Startled, my eyes widened as I frantically scanned the party, ignoring the humor of Darth Vader grinding on the dance floor with Princess Leia and barely registering the fact that Kim was currently plastered, enjoying her very first experience with alcohol while Jared tried in vain to hold her up. But try as I might I couldn't seem to locate Paul…or Katrina for that matter. I glanced back to see Ethan staring at me with a small smirk on his lips. _

"_I think I saw him walking down the hall," he said innocently and I was off, bolting through the crowd as fear began to grip my heart – _shit, I'd pushed him too far_. I felt my heart in my throat as I moved down the hallway towards the closed doors where I knew couples had paired off in to, hoping for privacy. I threw every door open along the way, and each one I was met by a shout of a gruff voice to shut the door while a girl squealed and tried to shield herself but it was thankfully never a male voice that I recognized. _

_I finally made my way to the last door and after peaking in carefully, only to find this one miraculously empty I figured Ethan had just been goading me into frenzied action. I should've known – Paul loves me, I thought smugly. _

_As I made my way back towards the party, I suddenly felt claustrophobic in the darkened, drunken mass of nearly the entire teenage population of La Push and half of Forks. Reaching the end of the hall, I ignored the grin on Ethan's face and instead turned towards the kitchen, shoving my way through to the backyard. _

_The cool, crisp air hit my overheated body and I felt slightly calmer as I breathed in and out deeply, managing to slow my rapid heartbeat. There was still the question of where Paul was lurking but I figured it was my own fault, I was constantly pushing him to the brink, it was only fair he make me panic a bit. I made my way across the small yard, idly wondering if I even knew the owner of this residence. Eyeing a wooden swing chair, half hidden in the shadow of the forest I picked up my pace, hurrying to find a secluded spot to escape the crowd for a few minutes before beginning my search for my missing boyfriend. _

_Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed parties and drinking and having fun but I normally enjoyed them the most when I was with Paul and his absence was currently my fault. Maybe I'd reverse the usual fighting schedule and be the one who begged forgiveness. I _had_ been acting like a brat lately, resolving to apologize to Paul after I got myself a bit more sober I stepped carefully up to the swing._

"_Shit, sorry I didn't know there was someone out her – " I cut off, the apology dying on my lips as I spotted the tall, handsome __Quileute boy who was currently half-undressed with a dyed blonde bitch straddling him, "Paul?" I managed to choke out. _

_His dark eyes met mine, widening in horror as he drunkenly struggled to shove Katrina off of him, trying to yank his pants up and simultaneously pull his shirt on, "Shit – Tigger! It's not what it looks like!"_

_My face crumpled and my heart dropped six feet under the ground I was standing on while tears started to stream down my face. I thought if I ever caught Paul cheating I'd react with bitter, screaming anger but this was ten times worse. This bitter, mind numbing pain was too much for me, "I think it's _exactly_ what it looks like…It's over," I whispered before turning and tripping out of the yard and into the dark woods._

* * *

The sound of a large body dropping next to me in the sand startled me from my unpleasant reminiscing. Glancing up I was surprised to find Embry sitting cross legged next to me rather than the face of Jacob that I'd expected, "What are you doing here?" I mumbled, not even trying to hide the tears that were now a constant presence on my face.

"I wanted to check on you Tigs," he said sincerely, locking eyes with me. I stared up into his soft, brown eyes, feeling oddly relieved that he'd come after me. Shaking my head slightly at this odd emotion of comfort I chose to raise my eyebrow rather than smile like I wanted to as I wiped the wetness from my face on the sleeve of my old sweatshirt.

"And why, Mr. Call, would you want to do that?" I asked, voice dripping with self-loathing, "I'm not exactly La Push's favorite lady nowadays."

Embry gave me a lopsided smile as he pulled me to his chest, rubbing his hand up and down my arm to warm up my body that I hadn't even realized was freezing, "You're always my favorite lady if it makes you feel any better."

I snorted softly, feeling not only my physical body thaw under the warmth of his touch but a slight crack seemed to appear in my emotional shell as well, "Well I highly doubt that mister but I'll take what I can get nowadays."

We sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the waves softly roll in and out as the early evening moonlight reflected across the water providing enough light for me to examine Embry. He'd grown to be nearly about as large as…Paul…my throat tightening at the thought of him so I quickly shook him from my mind as my green eyes scanned his body. He'd certainly shot up right before my eyes, towering over my already small frame. He'd cut his dark hair, no longer hanging to his chin but more floppily, bed head styled instead. His muscles quivered beneath the ribbed, long sleeve shirt he wore as I admired his strong set jaw and russet skin.

"Huh," I muttered out loud, amazed to find a now very attractive young man where there'd previously been a gangly, annoying boy.

"What's that Tigs?" Embry questioned, looking down at me curiously as he caught me eyeing him.

I flushed slightly, not realizing I'd spoken aloud, "Sorry…just thinkin' was all."

Embry tickled my side softly, "Uh oh, that sounds dangerous. Thinkin' about what?" he asked, pulling me even closer and for some reason I moved along with him, seeking comfort in the arms of a friend.

Trying to think quickly, I muttered the first stupid thing that came to my mind, "How much you've grown to look like Pa –, er…some of the other Rez boys."

He stiffened slightly, knowing what I'd been about to say, knowing that he was beginning to look startling similar to the La Push gang of Sam, Jared and Pa…well, you-know-who, "That a fact?" he asked solemnly as I nodded slowly.

"Well…I don't think I agree," he said with a stern look on his face, brown eyes no longer as soft as before.

"Oh? And just what do you think is different?" I asked lightly, trying to ignore the pounding in my heart.

Embry peered at me seriously for a long moment until I saw the edge of his mouth twitch before breaking into a large grin, "I, Ms. Quinn, remember how to smile!"

And smile he did, pearly white teeth contrasting so beautifully – Embry beautiful? – with his russet skin that my breath caught in my throat. "That you do, Mr. Call, that you do." I agreed, feeling my own face break into a soft smile of my own.

"Oh sweet Jesus – alert the media, was that a smile I saw, Tegan Ella?" he questioned, false shock written on his handsome (again with the good looking Embry comments, what is with me?) face.

Nudging an elbow into his rib, I glanced up at him suddenly startled by the tender look on his face, "Oh shush, I smile," I responded, slightly defensive.

"Not recently," he said with a sigh, turning back to face the ocean, the levity of our conversation deflating just as quickly as it came, "It wasn't meant to go that way, ya know?"

"What wasn't meant to go that way?" I asked, knowing full well what he was getting at.

Embry breathed out heavily, "Your 'intervention'," he said, using air quotes and making me smile slightly. "We're just worried about you is all. We've never seen you like this before and to be honest, you're freaking us all out. Inviting Jared was a mistake," he continued as he clenched his hands into angry fists, "We shoulda known he'd been there to defend that moron."

I gave a sad smile, "I know you're all worried…I just, I just don't know what's wrong with me," I whispered pathetically.

"I do," he said in a whisper of his own.

Another unladylike snort escaped from me, "And what's that?"

"You're heartbroken and you don't want to be un-heartbroken," Embry replied simply and the truth was like a bucket of ice water down my back. We sat in shocked silence while his words sunk in. Why I found this shocking was beyond me but I'd never had it so simply put that it finally seemed to make some sense to me.

I couldn't pull myself out of my sorrow because I didn't want to.

I felt the familiar burn of tears making their way to my edge of my eyes, preparing to fall when Embry's calloused hands took hold of my face, "Shit – I didn't mean to upset you," he said softly as his thumb brushed away the stray tear that had started making its way down my cheek.

"It sok," I mumbled. "I guess I didn't realize that I wasn't moving on because I wasn't trying." I tried to smile softly up at him and actually managed a little one. "I guess a thank you is in order for informing me of the truth."

Embry smiled brightly, chuckling under his breath, "Tigs – it ain't rocket science but I suppose I'm happy to help if it means I get to see that smile again."

He ran his thumb down my face, tracing the tear trail down my cheek before running the pad of his finger along my lower lip. My eyes widened at the unfamiliar gentleness, my mind instantly comparing his touch with Paul's and finding it alien but…nice. With Paul it was always so lovingly rough but this was soft, tender almost.

We sat cocooned in our own private peace, Embry's fingers still tracing my face and I found myself leaning into his touch. I eyed him carefully when his soft movements stopped. My eyes widened as I saw him inching his face closer to mine. I felt butterflies tumble in the pit of my stomach as I realized I wanted this, I wanted to forget Paul.

Making that snap decision I closed the small gap between us, pressing my lips against his gently, allowing Embry's warmth to envelope my frozen heart. After only a few short seconds he pulled away, hands still cradling my face, "I'm sorry Tegan," he whispered, regret shining in his eyes.

"Why?" I asked softly, tilting my head to the side questioningly.

"I've been dying to do that for years…I would never want to take advantage of you," he said sincerely.

I eyed him carefully, eyes widening in shock at his words. Embry had liked me? "You liked me?" I asked, surprised at the revelation.

"Tegan," Embry sighed in slight annoyance, "Of course, I've _always_ liked you. I'd bet every guy on the Rez has had a crush on you at one point or another. Mine just happened to stick," he admitted, flushing slightly at his confession.

Pulling back from him, I studied him carefully before continuing, "Well…I can't exactly say I've always liked you but if you'll be patient, I think I probably I could."

I winced, realizing how cold I sounded but Embry gave a soft smile as he pressed a kiss to my temple, "I'll take what I can get."

He pulled me even tighter into his side and I wrapped my arm around his thick waist, resting my head on his broad shoulder where we remained in silence for another few minutes while I tried to calm my racing mind. Could I do this? Selfishly use Embry to pull me out of my heartbreak, knowing I'd never have looked twice at him as anything other than a friend if it wasn't for Paul's infidelity?

My eyes slid up to take in Embry discreetly but instead locked onto his gaze and I drew in a sharp breath at the look in his eye, "Stop worrying Tigs, I'm not made of glass – I know you won't ever be fully mine, but like I said…I'll take what I can get."

With a genuine grin, I leaned up to plant a quick kiss on his lips before I leapt to my feet, feeling lighter than I'd felt in nearly two months. I offered a hand out to help pull him up and he tucked his large, callused hand in mine. It wasn't quite as neat a fit as it was with Paul but it was comfortable nonetheless. When he stood I realized just how tall he'd grown as he took my other hand in his and pulled me to him. Standing in silence as we stared back at each other as I gave another soft smile leaning on tiptoes and pulled his head down to reach his lips.

We stood locked in the sweet kiss until the long, loud howl of a very nearby wolf broke us from our peaceful cocoon. I jumped slightly at the noise, shivering at the sound as I could practically feel the pain of the animal that cried loudly in the forest. Odd…it was just a howl, not a wail I thought as I felt Embry pull me into a more protective hold.

"Let's get outta her Tigs," Embry whispered into my ear as he led me towards the parking lot, away from the forest and away from the somber, sad wailing of the lone wolf.

* * *

**Sooo...what'd you think? Did you see it coming with the whole Embry thing? Who is that loud, sad wolf? ...Hmm, I wonder ;)**


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